In 24 days we will have a new bundle of joy in our growing family. Right now I don't know if it is excitement or pregnancy insomnia but I have been wide awake since 2:00 am. This has become a regular occurrence. It also make it hard to get through the day awake. People say to me "you look tired", I want to say you would too if you have been awake since 2:00 am. I have been pushing for a mandatory nap time at work, people think I am joking.
I have such mixed feeling about the approach of this baby. Part of me can't wait (the uncomfortable, painful, heartburn, can't sleep, beach whale part) and part of me wants him to stay nice an warm were he is.
I worried so much before Bubbie was born that I would not be able to handle taking care of a baby, but at 20 months he is proof that I can. Now I worry, will I be able to mange 2 and how will Bubbie deal with not being the center of my world. I have tried to prepare him for his brothers coming but he just does not have the comprehensive ability to understand.
I do feel good that we have prepared him in other ways. We are bottle free, crib free, highchair free. We talk about him being a big boy, we no longer call him the baby. We have him doing so many things on his own (partly because he wants it that way), he can get on and off his chair and bed, he does the steps all on his own and now is climbing in and out of his car seat. It's almost like he does know what is coming and he is getting ready in his own way.
I have been surprised at how different this pregnancy was compared to Bubbie. This time definitely went by much quicker, I didn't gain that much (nor did I need to) and this babies kicks and movements are so much stronger and different. I swear I can feel the baby "breathing", I know they don't breath but he has these movements that look and feel like breathing. I think it's called fetal breathing movement, like practice. My Braxton Hicks have been very strong and frequent this time as well. I try to tell him he doesn't need that practice (having a repeat c-section) but he continues to practice.
So in 24 day (or sooner) I will be the proud Momma of two boys. I am really excited. I will need to change the name of my blog, it won't just be Bubbies Corner anymore.